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The Adam Experiment

By Adam Murray

What I was

Some years ago I had a good career in IT, which I gave up on the grounds that doing a soulless job wasn’t making me happy despite the good pay.  In the context of a prevailing materialist culture this was an unusual step, perhaps radical, maybe even subversive.  Whatever, I had begun to see that most of us weren’t getting a good deal in life.  Our lives were being structured around the needs of the gargantuan machine known as ‘the economy’, which drained our energy and in return gave us toys and narcotics to keep us amused, distracted and pacified.  When I saw the film ‘The Matrix’ I recognised the metaphor.

Around this time I was hearing a lot of doom-laden talk about the future of the world – peak oil, climate change, species extinctions, superbugs, the unsustainable economic system, conspiracy theories galore – and I was given to listening to it.  As a result I became very cynical, a bit paranoid and angry about my fellow man.

When Mim and I had our conversation about washing machines and community I was more than ready to leave my comfortable, but fairly pointless, life in London and look for something more fulfilling.  I found it difficult to articulate why I wanted to live in community.  The best description I could come up with was “I want to live with people I love.”  This didn’t really address any of the practical issues of community living, but it was enough of a driver to start me enquiring about them.

But for me the project of seeking community became heavily tinged with notions of how to survive the maelstrom that would follow the impending collapse of civilisation.  It was all a bit dark.  My attitude was one of running away from a world I hated.  The only positive aspect was the thought that some of us could construct some sort of cultural safety net for mankind – islands of knowledge and experience that would be useful in ensuring we weren’t thrown right back to the stone age.  I felt pretty superior.  Part of me couldn’t wait for the collapse to happen, so I could live out my heroic fantasy.

What I am now – Big Changes

When I met Pete and Cynthia I was immediately struck that their vision was far more optimistic than any other I had come across.  I was introduced to the idea that humankind’s development was not finished yet: evolution is still ongoing, and an evolutionary leap is required to solve the problems we’ve created from our current perspective.  When Pete said they wanted to create a beacon to attract people who are ready to awaken to who they really are and create a new world, I wanted to be part of that.

So instead of running away, I now feel that I am running towards something.  There is a positive intention here to make a different life.  I realise that while I hate what I call “the big con” (the way we’re all being cynically exploited and told that it’s making us happy), what is more important is what I love: the freedom to live a life of integrity. A very important aspect of this is personal responsibility – it’s up to me how I live my life: I make choices, and I accept the consequences.  Living here is exciting and challenging as I’m taking on the ‘Inner Matrix’ of illusion about the nature of my being.

I also love the practical side of this life: building fences and gates; making steps; random bits of carpentry and plumbing; doing things with my hands; getting the chance to create truly useful things that make our lives work well, rather than spending my time writing computer programmes for projects that weren’t important in the first place.

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One Comment

  1. Radcarper says:

    Excellent post Billy, and I can only hear an echo as you describe the footsteps that got you to random bits of carpentry and the like.
    We are not running away, though that is suggested by a few friends of mine… what to do with those so called friends?
    We are building the change we want to see and be, creating the islands that wont disspaear when the tsunami hits. It is hard when youve seen the wave coming, or the oncoming train about to hit, Ive tried screaming, ive tried screaming in a low and moderate voice…. we have just got to do what we have to do, or as Mollison said, walk the walk and talk the talk.
    Hope to see you all soon,
    Love and best

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